hopeful.

today, after many months of feeling inadequate, tired, and less than worthy, i felt hope. the crisp, cool air filled me with joy and refueled my heart. i’m in a more positive mood, and anxious to get to fun projects that need to be done around here before the new baby arrives.. thank you, Jesus, for this beautiful day. i pray that many, many more days like this follow. let the monotony and heat of the summer be over. FALL, bring it on!!

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my dearest babies,

yes, all three of you… i have something to say to each of you..

dear #1 (otherwise known as emma),
i love you soooooo much! you were my first baby.. the one i have made most mistakes with.. the one who taught me how to be a mommy.. the one that i hung out with for 3 whole years and 3 days… you are getting to be such a BIG girl! i remember feeding you and rocking you to sleep when you were a baby. those are memories i will always treasure.. i know we don’t hang out as much as we used to, just you and me, but always know that there is a special place for you in mommy’s heart. you are happy, beautiful, smart, kind, generous, and just wonderful in every way. momma loves you!

dear #2 (otherwise known as jack),
boy! you rock my world! you came into my life and taught me that i can’t sit still for more than 3 seconds flat.. you taught me that boys are wonderfully fun and brought me out of my seriousness (boringness.) i love you more than you will ever ever know. hearing you call me ‘mommy’ is the most beautiful sound for me right now. even in the middle of the night, when you should be sleeping, to hear you call for ‘mommy’ makes me feel warm inside and i rush to your side. yes, even when all you want is a little rub on your back and to know that i’m there. i love you. i love you. i love you.

dear #3 (tba)
i cannot wait to meet you! i am grateful to have you join our family! you will be the perfect addition! it will be tough being in a house with a somewhat bossy and busy big girl AND a silly playful little boy… but we will make it work, i promise! just so you know, your big sister really really really wants you to be a sister. she says she already has a brother, and would love a sister this time. she has been praying for God to “make you” a sister. we will see about that. love love love you!

love you all,
momma